I Have ADHD. Now What?

The three days after I got a diagnosis were some of the hardest days for me emotionally. I was a mess. At first I was relieved and then I just cried. I was angry, hurt, and confused. Nothing had changed about me. I had felt that the diagnosis was waste of time because it told me nothing new. I now had options, but other than that it was the same as before the test. I was therefore surprised that I was so upset.

I had been afraid of stigma, but all of my friends seemed to shrug off the idea of ADHD the way that I just did above: nothing was changing about me, so why did it matter? But it DID matter. For the first time in my life, I felt REALLY distracted. I couldn't study for my midterm. I couldn't participate in discussions. I couldn't listen to lectures. All I could do was doodle the letters ADD. And, when I was alone or with my counselor, I cried.

There are a lot of reasons that I do not like this Web site. For starters I don't think it's funny to keep saying "Look at me! I can't pay attention! I can't finish building a Web site! Because of my ADD you have to look at horrific backgrounds!" Also, I find the Web site a confusing mess and am uncomfortable with talk of an ADD community or "ADD circles". But, it has a lot of information a page that validated a lot of what I had felt. If you don't feel like clicking on it, I have quoted from it below:

"The days and weeks immediately following diagnosis are a real emotional roller-coaster for the ADDer. There is the very real feeling of relief which comes from just being able to put a name on the "disorder" that has been so much a part of your life. Many of the ADD books refer to this as the "Aha" moment, and this is a common term in ADD circles. There is a strong feeling of companionship which can only be truly appreciated by those of have felt like they never fit in to any group. All of this is very positive and very healthy.

However, as the full implications of the diagnosis begin to sink in, the ADDer (and/or his parents) may experience extreme emotional turmoil. For many, one of the first emotions to hit after the "Aha" wears off is one of real grief.

We all grew up with the image of the perfect baby in our minds. We all grew up thinking that WE were the embodiment of the Gerber Baby, right there off the label, in living blue and grey.

Now, imagine hitting The Wall and realizing that YOU are not the Gerber baby."
-http://www.bobseay.com/littlecorner/newurl/treat.html

That feeling is horrible and draining. But it's normal. And it wears off, especially if you have supportive friends and family. Seek out the people who understand that it's hard for you and will let you talk about it on your own terms.